Suzie by John Benton

From the back cover of Suzie:

Her gun brought her everything she wanted... except happiness!

Suzie was a fun-loving teenager who was excited about the challenge of life.  But her unending quest for more excitement and power led her to places and events for which she was not prepared...

At sixteen, Suzie could handle a gun like a pro.  She found that her gun opened doors for her:  it commanded respect and gave her power over others.  Then Suzie met Billy who opened another door for her—into the seemingly exciting world of crime.  But the pleasures of robbery were short-lived; before long Suzie was a fugitive of the FBI.  She fled from state to state, always attempting to go straight, but always slipping back into crime.  Inevitably, Suzie landed in jail.  But instead of her imprisonment being the end of the road, jail opened up for her a whole new beginning.

Content: shoplifting, theft, shooting, sexual abuse father/daughter

Suzie decides that she must have a gun.  She shoplifts in order to raise the money, then she purchases one from a student at school.  Suzie wants to practice, so she heads to the city park.  Suzie proceeds to use a fellow classmate for target practice.  Fortunately, the bullet only grazes his leg.  

Suzie also practices with her gun by shooting out someone's tire from inside her home.  Later, she shoots a glass bottle of milk out of a woman's hand.  Suzie fires from her bedroom window.  This girl is incredibly reckless and stupid.

Suzie wants to practice shooting from her basement.  So that her parents don't catch on, she buys herself a whip.  She tells them that she will practice with the whip in the basement and refers to herself as "Suzie the Wonder Whip."

Later, Suzie's dad questions her, because he smells gunpowder.

From page 30:

"Oh, gunpowder," I said, thinking quickly.  "I thought you were talking about a gun.  I don't have a gun, but I do have gunpowder."

My father bolted up in his chair.  "What in the world are you doing with gunpowder and no gun?"

"Take it easy, Dad.  I hadn't told you about that yet.  You see, if you put gunpowder on the end of the whip, when it snaps, people think it is real powerful.  It's amazing to see them jump back.

"Last Saturday night I took my whip and walked down to the corner of Eighth Avenue and D Street.  Sure enough, there were some gang members hanging around.  I walked up to them, laid out my whip, reared back, and laid a mighty thrust forward.  When I jerked it, it snapped, and gunpowder went everywhere.  Dad, it was the funniest thing.  Those gang members took off running, as if they had been shot at.  I just stood there laughing."

Suzie's parents began laughing, and so did I.

On page 66, Billy talks about a battery trick.  The plan is for Billy to ask the clerk for triple-A batteries.  The clerk won't know what they are, so he'll walk away from the counter to check the battery display.  Meanwhile, Suzie will steal a stack of traveler's checks.

I found that interesting.  This book is from 1979, and I can't remember what kind of batteries were used in most devices at that time.  Looking at some online pages for old electronics, I believe that 9-volt batteries were often used.  AA batteries were more common back in those days.  I assume that AAA batteries were not yet being widely used at that time.

The book also contains a crazy scene where Suzie smuggles a gun into the jail by hiding it in her bra.  She is allowed to visit Wayne, who is in jail.  She is locked in Wayne's cell with him.  Suzie kisses Wayne, telling him where the gun is.  The two proceed to kiss passionately with Wayne groping Suzie as he maneuvers the gun out of her bra.  A drunk in another cell looks on and hoots his approval. 

This book is utterly hilarious.  I loved it.