The Burden of Being Visible in a Hobby

Those people who are more visible in a hobby often end up drained, sometimes even leaving the hobby.  The most memorable instance was when Rick Brant collector Jim Ogden disappeared in 2012.  He had a Rick Brant website, ran a Rick Brant group, and had published a Rick Brant guide.  We will never know why Jim abruptly disappeared from his online presence, never to contact any of us ever again.  He passed away on March 9, 2023.

Jim Ogden's Obituary

Godspeed, Jim.  We don't know why you left, but you had a lasting influence on our hobby.

Before I continue, I want to include a lengthy comment that I made on Facebook, since it is relevant to this post.

I can think of several reasons why a prominent collector would decide to withdraw. However, it's unusual for someone so prominent to make such a sudden break and never make contact again, not a single time to my knowledge. He did have a Facebook account, but he stayed away from all of us.

I was very prominent in the Zorro fandom from 2001 until around the time everyone moved to Facebook. Probably around the time Jim vanished from his Rick Brant group was when I began to pull back from Zorro. I ran a very active Yahoo! group for one of the Zorro television series (Family Channel New World Zorro version, 1990-1993).

I kept a contact link open. I have two Zorro websites. I continue to pay the monthly fees. I recently moved them to GoDaddy to get them out of Yahoo!'s clutches. I haven't disappeared, but I no longer run a group. I have a link to this Facebook page (Jennifer's Series Books) at the bottom of each Zorro site, and a few times per year someone will contact me through this page.

They don't contact me often, but they know where to find me. They don't know why I stay away, but I have a very good reason.

Another fan became unbearable.  They contacted me often.  It was kind of a stalker situation. Some of you have told me that it is a shame that I left.  Just understand that it was better to remove myself from that situation.  That fan took the joy away from me.  There was no way that I could continue.  Another fan removed herself at the same time that I did.  The two of us were targeted for a particular reason, and it was best that we escaped.

Everyone else has carried on.  As new Zorro Facebook groups have been created, one person always invites me.  I do join, even if I don't participate.

At least twice per year, I'll be tagged in one of the Zorro groups, and I do respond.  I am reachable even though I'm standing in the shadows.  They wish I would participate more, but that ship has sailed.  At least I'm reachable.

So I do understand reasons why someone would make a complete break from contact with other enthusiasts.  It's just disturbing for someone so very prominent never to keep a line of communication open.

I also want to give you an idea of what kind of situation this was.  Many of you remember two very needy, aggressive series book fans who used to be in the Facebook groups.  One fan was a disabled young man, and the other fan lived in a nursing home.  These fans constantly asked for free books.  They asked in the group repeatedly and sent many private messages, acquiring many free books. 

They were highly disruptive, and we removed them.  Both fans have multiple Facebook accounts, and we've had to block the other accounts upon their future attempts to rejoin the group. 

My Zorro situation was similar in that this person constantly harassed us two fans who collected memorabilia associated with the show.  He also interfered with eBay auctions.  The situation was toxic and was impacting my health.  I finally concluded that the only way to end the situation was to distance myself.  I gradually made myself not care as much and pulled away, which resulted in this fan leaving me alone.  Sure, he won, but I was happier.  

I will be selling some Zorro items in the next six months that could interest this fan.  I'm certain that he will surface instantly and will contact me begging me to sell the stuff that I will never sell.  That happened the last time I offered something on eBay. 

He's a desperate fan who won't quit.  He creates multiple IDs, so there's no way to keep him from creating another ID for contact purposes.  That's why I had to withdraw from my interest in Zorro.  It was unbearable.

Let's get into the rest of the post.

Being heavily involved (group moderation, writing collector guides, blogs, selling) in a hobby takes its toll.  People focus on those who are highly visible and expect them to solve every problem.  I have been told in confidence by someone prominent that they feel used at times.  I don't quite feel used, but I do feel that people take me for granted, expect too much of me, believe that I can answer any random question on command, and sell them books at low prices.  Perhaps I do feel used, even though I don't consciously think of it that way.

The worst of all is group moderation.  I am overall okay at the moment, but I wanted to flee as recently as early March.  I briefly considered whether it was finally time to cut myself free of moderating a large Facebook group.  That was at least 50% caused by my thyroid condition, which destabilizes my mental state when my levels are off.  However, the other 50% was caused by my increasing dislike of running a Facebook group.  
 
I remain dissatisfied, but I can keep going for now as a group moderator.  I don't see doing it forever.  As long as I still care about the group, I will continue.  Once I finally decide that I don't care enough, then I will let it go.  The series book collecting groups are just not that fun anymore. 

I want to read good discussions.  I'm talking about when people actually take the time to write at least a few sentences of insightful commentary.  That's what I want, and that is what motivated me to start a blog and create a Facebook group. 

My greatest desire in the series book collecting community is to be able to read good discussions.  Those discussions are minimal at best, these days.  I wish we could change that, but I don't know how.  I can't do it alone.

I've tried.  Every so often, I take the time to write up a post for the Collecting Vintage Children's Series Books group (Collecting group).  For instance, I might photograph my Vicki Barr books and post the photos in the Collecting group along with general series information.  It results in some discussion, but it peters out fast.  Some people use the opportunity to pick my brain, which gets exhausting fast.

They will ask random questions on my post.  Or they'll make an innocent statement that irks me to no end.  They'll say, "I've never seen some of these images before.  Thanks for posting them!"  They mean well, but I feel disappointment because I placed the images on my website some 20 years ago.  Yet another person doesn't know that my Series Books for Girls website exists, and I wonder why I ever bothered.  I probably shouldn't be annoyed.  It's a sign that I'm getting burned out.

You might have noticed that I no longer moderate the Sleuthing for Vintage Children's Series Books group (Sleuthing group).  I stepped down from moderating in late August 2022.  I never wanted that group in the first place.  I only created it because a prominent collector had been banned from the existing series book selling group and that person didn't like being unable to offer books in the Collecting group when we disallowed sales from that group.  I created the group for that person, who then never used it.

Running the Sleuthing group was an extreme nuisance that I hated.  It was just constantly having to tell people to put prices in their posts and constantly declining off-topic books.  I never wanted to run a selling group, so I finally quit.  I seldom check the group, since I find trying to buy on Facebook to be annoying and stressful. 

That was a lesson learned.  Never take on an unwanted task solely to appease somebody else.  It's never worth it.

In February 2022, I removed myself from another group I created, Vintage Chapter Books for Children (Chapter group).  I never wanted that group either, but I didn't mind watching over it that much since it had no problems.  We finally had to remove a prominent member from the Collecting group due to disruptive behavior that was aimed squarely at me.  I knew that I could no longer emotionally deal with being in a group with that person.  I removed myself from the Chapter group so that this person could be allowed to remain in that group. 

Most content that I post on Facebook is now just on my own Facebook page and in my own group that is linked to my Facebook page.  I mostly dislike posting in the larger groups.  I find that I generally get better responses on my page and in my group than I do in the large groups.  I suspect that this is also because some of you, like me, are no longer that comfortable in the larger groups.

I have another reason why most of my content must be on my Facebook page and in my own group. 

In the Collecting group, we have had a problem with sellers using the group to slyly promote their listings.  They might ask a question about a certain book, using the actual photo that will appear in the listing.  The book then goes up for sale within a day or so. 

We've had sellers post about their "book finds," but when they do, we can tell that something is off about the "find."  We do give them the benefit of the doubt in case we are misreading the situation.  Last fall, a seller kept posting his "finds," and a couple of members asked leading questions.  They sensed something strange.  The member posted the name of his online store in answer to one of the questions.

We warned this person that his posts were problematic.  They did it again, and the "book finds" began to be listed in their AbeBooks store within a few hours of the post.  I removed that person from the group.

Since I am a rule enforcer, I must follow the rules to the letter.  I can never post anything in the group that I might be selling within the next... oh, say three to six months.  People watch me a like a hawk and expect me to follow the rules strictly.  And so I should.

Most of my interesting observations are made when I am photographing books just before I list them on eBay or Etsy.  I can't post those observations in the group since I am in the process of listing those books.

Just last weekend, I noticed the brilliant ink on the spine of two cello Trixie Belden books from a lot that I purchased recently.  Most of the books will be sold within the next few months.  I had to post on my own page instead of in the group.

Awhile later, I was preparing to list Hardy Boys paperbacks.  I saw #90 and verified that it wasn't the first printing.  The first printing of Hardy Boys #90 has a defective binding.  I decided to make a post about how the first printings of Hardy Boys #90 and Nancy Drew #83 have defective bindings.

I wanted to put the post in the Collecting group, but I couldn't list a Hardy Boys #90 for sale that day if I were going to post about it.  I then saw that I already had one for sale that was listed last year, so I set that book aside and didn't list it.  I then proceeded with my post in the group.

I must be constantly mindful of everything I say and do in the group.  I am not allowed to just enjoy myself.  When I let my guard down, I open the door to criticism. 

It weighs on me.