I do not feel the pain of Honey and her mother as much as I should. In my opinion, the book should have opened with Nancy and her friends actually at the amusement park so that we could have gotten to know Honey and her mother. Being shown why the girls fall in love with Honey and her mother is better than being told about it.
Nancy's first meeting with Joe Swenson is very rushed in the revised text. Joe trusts Nancy way too quickly, giving her money to mail to his wife. A point in favor of the revised text is that the revised text makes for a better case about why Mrs. Swenson is worried about her husband. In the revised text, Joe's letters to his wife have been stolen by a mail thief. In the original text, Joe has only been away for one week, and I feel no urgency for the Swenson family. Mrs. Swenson's worry comes across better in the revised text.
I did note one interesting revision. The original text, page 19, has the following passage.
"Why don't they stop honking their horns!" Nancy exclaimed impatiently. "It doesn't help a bit—it just drives one almost wild."The same passage appears as follows in the revised text, page 13.
"We'll be here all night," George observed gloomily.
"Why don't they stop honking?" George exclaimed impatiently. "It doesn't help a bit. We'll be here all night!"Nancy shows impatience in the original text, and we just couldn't have the perfect revised text Nancy be impatient at all. Instead, George expresses that emotion.
Overall, neither the original text nor the revised text is significantly better than the other. Since I feel that the mail fraud subplot added to the mystery of what had happened to Joe Swenson, I will vote in favor of the revised text as a slightly better story. However, I don't like either version very much.